Do you worry, almost to the point of panic, thinking that your whole life and relationship are finished and wonder: “How am I going to go on? This is just too much.” or “I’ll never trust anyone again.” Are you just so anger with your unfaithful partner you really are not sure what you are capable of doing? You might be thinking: “How could they do this to me? I thought they loved me…”
Or have you been unfaithful and are not sure if you should disclose this to your partner, but you are burning up with guilt because of it? Maybe the guilt is driving you even further apart and you are finding yourself increasingly unfaithful.
Therapy helps clients experiencing the trauma of infidelity. First of all, it gives you a safe place in which you can air all of your grievances and concerns. Second, you are working with a professional who is versed in dealing with infidelity and all of the concerns that arise from it.
If you are the person who was hurt by infidelity, online therapy can help you regain a sense of what is real, discuss your anger and rage, and start to rebuild your self and what you need to do to go forward. If you are the unfaithful partner, online therapy for infidelity can help you understand why you are doing what you did (and perhaps continue to do), move beyond it, and potentially save your current relationship (if that turns out to be what you really want to do).
A good first step is to make sure that your therapist is licensed to practice therapy and holds a professional, university degree in therapy and counselling. Secondly, you want to ensure that the therapist you choose is also specialized in working with infidelity as one of their core competencies.
Not only do I specialize in working with infidelity, but I also have a Masters-degree in Counselling from the University of British Columbia with an Honors designation.
That may be true; however, if you are here considering therapy, I sense there is probably a sliver of hope remaining. I have seen dramatic changes in relationships where one or both partners have been unfaithful. Some, it’s true, do breakup: however, some couples stay together and get stronger. It’s important to feel like you really have a solid grasp on what you are doing as you do it though. To destroy or abandon a relationship just because of an infidelity without being solid in your thinking and intuitions can be even more damaging later on in your life. Why? Because, without a solid understanding and clarity of what took place before, during and after your infidelity, you may end up in exactly the same situation again.
Some therapists may be pro-relationship at any cost. I am ~not~. If a couple is not meant to be together and an infidelity was the clue, I do not try to keep a couple together to make myself feel better as a therapist. Instead, I look at each couple separately. Some couples needed the shock of an infidelity to understand that they really loved each but were just too scared to be really intimate with each other. Other couples needed an infidelity to realize that they never were in love and need now to move on. Whatever the case, I support you and guide you to your own conclusions—never mine.
A lot of people avoid coming to therapy to talk about infidelity because they fear that if they open up, they will be judged or made to feel worse than they already feel in the first place. This is understandable. However, if you do decide to come in, you don’t need to spill your guts in the first session. In fact, it may be wise to take your time.
Let the relationship with me develop and then, when you are ready, you can share what is really bothering you. This is perfectly OK and normal. Go at a pace that feels comfortable to you and tell me as much or as little as you want to in our initial sessions.
For some clients, the prospect of coming to see a therapist is just way too scary, and they feel a lot of anxiety when they come in for the first time. This is very common. So, try to accept your anxiety and fear rather than fight it or make it go away. It is important to note, that part of my role as therapist is to make you feel welcome and as comfortable as possible.
Not at all. The choice to tell your partner about what you are doing is completely your choice. I aim to support you in whatever path you feel is best for you. If the timing is not right for you to tell your partner, then the timing is not right. I never push—I listen and try to understand you as fully as possible.
Unlike other therapists, I go deeper into the psychological and spiritual issues at play within your personal/couple sexual and relational dynamic. I open up the discussion with you and facilitate your exploration into this enormous world that contains your symbols, desires and passions. The deeper we go, the better for you and the more intense your growth every session.
On top of infidelity, I am comfortable with talking about all kinds of sex and there is nothing off-limits or taboo in my sessions. I’m aware of how anxious you might feel talking about this intimate subject with each other and with a complete stranger, and I’ll help set you and your partner at ease as I guide you into talking about infidelity and its relation to your future.
Get in touch. If you have concerns and questions related to therapy for infidelity, and would like to arrange an initial appointment with me, click on the buttons below and schedule your first appointment. I always welcome new clients and look forward to meeting and helping you (and your partner).