Do you conjecture: “If my partner were happy with me, and if I were a good partner, my partner would be so satisfied that (s)he wouldn’t want to get involved with anyone else.”
Does your partner want to open your relationship up but you are not quite sure? You ask: “Am I ready for polyamory?” Or maybe you are already in a non-traditional relationship and wondering if you are just fooling yourself; that is: “Will this ever be really right for me?” and think: “Maybe it’s just not possible to love more than one person at a time?”
Do you wonder what type of non-monogamous relationship might suit you the best? Do you question how much disclosure you would ideally want from your partners?
Did your promise to open up your relationship—saying that “I’ll never develop loving feelings for another”—but now found yourself doing just that? Has your promise lead to self-denial, confusion, and broken agreements?
Or maybe you got dumped by a secondary partner and now you are wondering if its normal to feel so much pain? Or maybe you have children and wonder how to explain polyamory to them?
Online therapy can be extremely effective in helping people trying to work out and on a non-traditional relationship. Online therapy for people in non-traditional relationships helps to you to understand where your fears, angers and jealousies are coming from, explore the “monogamy continuum,” come to terms with the deeper issues, impacts and forces (i.e., psychological, social and cultural) surrounding non-traditional relationships, and start to understand clearly what one truly wants.
I help clients rediscover passion in their relationships, repair trust after infidelity, help people move past jealousy and codependency, resolve sexual dysfunction, break unhealthy communication patterns and practice respectful polyamory.
Let’s face it: traditional relationships are hard in themselves. With that in mind, the multiplicity of factors, connections and personalities that mix in non-traditional relationships can sometimes almost seem overwhelming. Many of my clients I see feel like they “lost the boat” somewhere—that is, they should just know how to be in a non-traditional relationship. This is never the case—the truth of any situation is usually quite murky and any expectations of something being obvious only makes it more so; therefore, with this in mind, there is nothing wrong in seeking help to clarify your situation.
Many people in non-traditional relationships have no idea where to turn to find help. It is common for people to feel lost when finding the right therapist who works with people in non-traditional relationships though, especially online were the choices are overwhelming (there are a lot of therapists) or paltry (very few therapists work specifically with non-traditional relationships). A good first step is, making sure the therapist is licensed to practice therapy and holds a professional, university degree in counselling. Second, make sure that they specialize in non-traditional/poly- relationships (or, at the least are publicly open to the idea). Some therapists bring their own traditional views of relationships into therapy and this can be extremely detrimental and damaging to clients who are not aware of their bias.
A lot of people avoid coming to therapy to talk about non-traditional relationships because they fear that if they open up, they will be judged or made to feel worse than they already felt in the first place. This is understandable. However, if you do decide to come in, you don’t need to spill your guts in the first session. In fact, it may be wise to take your time.
Let the relationship with me develop and then, when you are ready, you can share what is really bothering you. This is perfectly OK and normal. Go at a pace that feels comfortable to you and tell me as much or as little as you want to in our initial sessions.
For some clients, the prospect of coming to see a therapist is just way too scary, feeling a lot of anxiety when they come in for the first time. This is very common. So, try to accept your anxiety and fear rather than fight it or make it go away. It is important to note, that part of my role as therapist is to make you feel welcome, and as comfortable, as possible.
No problem; and, you are probably asking for a wide amount of different experiences than most may want to admit! That said, only you can be the judge, but that is where therapy is helpful. Therapy for non-traditional relationships (including kink) will help you come to your truth by yourself—without anyone telling you what’s right or wrong.
You may question how to know if you are “normal” in what you are aroused by: “Is this healthy?” You may also ask if you are co-dependent on your D/S partner; or, which qualities in your scene partner suit you the best. If you’ve starting to realize you’ve been abused, you may be asking yourself: “What now?” Maybe questions (and subsequent answers) about your kink will bubble to the surface in a typical therapy session with me.
This is the Number 1 complaint of clients coming to see me after a few sessions with a traditional therapist. Yes, it’s very true: many therapists just don’t understand non-traditional relationships. The problem is that the vast majority of therapists are in traditional roles and relationships themselves; so, they never have experiences with any of the wide varieties of relationship patterns available. This is not my case as your therapist as I’ve had relationships on both sides of the traditionality-fence.
Unlike most therapists, I operate on multiple levels with clients, depending on where they come in from. For example, some clients want “quick fixes” to problems and that is something we can address. Others, knowing that quick fixes and behavioral techniques can never “cure” or fix their problems, would like to do deeper work with me to fully clarify what needs to be addressed. Finally, some clients want to explore the spiritual dimension of non-traditional relationships. All of three of these aspects, I am able to examine and enter with my clients.
Get in touch. Click on the buttons below and schedule your first appointment. I welcome new clients and look forward to meeting and helping you.