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Online Couples Therapy

Online Marriage Therapy:
Online Couples Therapy

The Crucibles of Growth

Online Couples Counselling

Are you fighting all the time with your partner or spouse? Unable to resolve the conflicts? Have a lot of anger in your relationship? Do you feel contempt for your partner? Do you feel disrespected? Are your communications getting worse? Perhaps they've never been stellar to begin with...
Do you see your relationship dissolving if you don’t do anything? Is the sex dying—or dead? Are you becoming detached? Do you love your partner but feel a part is missing? Do you live more as friends rather than sexual/passionate people? Have you lost your attraction to your partner? Do you discuss your children and but not your relationship? Are you partner's family too much to bear? Wonder if you married your partner or their family? Do you want to leave your relationship because your partner will not manage their parents?

And on… and on…

Relax. You are in the right spot. You need a professional to help you. That’s where I come in. I can help you improve in all of these areas—especially in art of communication and intimacy. But more importantly, we have to see relationships as crucibles for individual growth. You didn’t get into a relationship to have a relationship: you got into it to benefit you in the end. And yes, loving your partner is part of it, but you have to be getting something out of a relationship to make it sustainable. Let’s find what that is and see how to feel good again with, or without, your current partner(s).

As a therapist, I love working with couples. Couples can be challenging but when I see changes in a relationship for the better—when I see movement and love starting to form where once there was just hatred, suspicion, anxiety and fear—couples work can also be profoundly fulfilling.

Get in touch. It’s time to love yourself and get help.

Conflicts occur because we mirror our partners’ unfinished business. We project our own unaware issues until our relationship breaks apart. If you are unaware of your own issues, you will project them. You'll become angry and defensive—and then guilty. I help you identify your specific issues and then show how to respond better in every situation.

Therapy show us how to live our own lives. Therapy highlight how not to fulfill others' expectations if we don't want to. If we meet as two wholes, we have a chance for a fulfilling relationship. People in relations must become aware. That is the first step. Awareness is of the self and the relationship. Awareness shows how patterns repeat. Awareness brings unconscious issues to light.

“How should I choose a online couples therapist?”

First, ensure that your counsellor is licensed to practice therapy. Second, ensure that your therapist holds a degree in therapy. Third, ensure they are specialized in marriage and couples counselling as a core competency. You are in luck! I specialize in couples and marriage counselling. I am licensed to practice. I have a Masters-degree in Counselling from the UBC. I have an Honours designation.

“But my partner won't go to therapy.”

When this happens, I work in a “couples counselling” with the interested party. The changes that happen here intrigue the reluctant one. Soon, they want to see me too. Does their partner's growth irk them? Are they curious to what processes are occurring in therapy? They see their partner as being more confident. Their partner starts to depend on them less. This is frightening, and intriguing, for the reluctant one.

“We are on the edge of divorce. What’s the point?”

I am not an advocate for one form of relationship. I am not invested in maintaining a relationship that neither party wants. I will not sway you to stay in a relationship. Therapy is finding out what the next step in your relationship is. What step will provide each of you maximum growth? If maximum growth equals separation, that is better than staying. Hopeless and defeatism are not pleasant states. If maximum growth equals staying, that entails different work. Staying entails experiencing the anxieties of conflict without running. I am there to guide you to an outcome.

“Isn’t love enough?”

Love is not enough to keep a relationship. It is a romantic tale though. Many imagine love should carry them through. Many have built their relationship on an uneasy version of "love". We have to examine love. Is it love that you are feeling? Some clients imagine intense neediness as "love". Some imagine paying for dinner as "love". What is love? What do you mean by that? Do you know?

If love were enough, I wouldn’t have a therapy business. Many couples express love but have a horrible time in their relation. Love may be present. Yet, so may feelings of stagnation, defense, anger and contempt. So, love is not the problem. The real problem lies in the negative forces that surround your relationship. To stare at love, and hope that is enough, will not doesn't fix the negative.

We had a LOT of intimacy problems. We had no connection. Tidal detected these issues quickly and worked with us on overcoming them. He spent a lot of time making sure that we had the tools to succeed, and I would say we are almost there. My wife and I feel very relieved. Tidal was encouraging and empathetic, but he also called us on our shit.
Clay
When we came to see you we were in a state of crisis. Although we had many moments of joy, the underlying issues of my husband’s distrust and anger (as a result of my actions) were making our relationship unbearable. Working with you was very productive. You really listened to us, helped us see where we were going wrong and gave us useful information. I also appreciate that you brought a spiritual bent into our sessions… usually therapists have no idea what we are talking about!
Trisha

Why choose me as your online couples counselling therapist?

Unlike the majority of therapists, I go deeper. Far deeper. I want to know the psych and spiritual issues at play. What's going on with your personal, sexual and relational dynamic? I facilitate your exploration into each of your personal worlds. Let's discover your symbols, desires and passions. The deeper we go, the better for you and your partner. As we increase intimacy (and the Erotic!), the more intense you and your partner’s growth will be.

We want to start explore online couples counselling with you. What’s next?

Click on the buttons below and schedule your first appointment. I welcome new clients. I look forward to meeting and helping you.

Phases of marriage therapy + couples counselling:

Awareness

  • Give words to experience
  • Become curious: what is the other is thinking and feeling?
  • Creates energy and action as members engage with excitement
Contact
  • Check for the clarity of knowing
  • Members come together and begin to learn about each other
  • Fresh and shared knowing of what to *do*—not just talk
Finishing
  • Take in the therapist's skills
  • Awareness becomes experience
  • Members understand each other’s needs
  • Partners become comfortable asking each other about needs
In the awareness phase, I work with your relational boundaries. We need to see how they influence your learned roles and behaviours. In the contact phase, I seek to increase empathy. I'll raise your awareness of strengths and patterns in your intimate system. What completes and interrupts contact? In the finishing stage, therapy comes to an end. Partners understand each other’s needs. They check with each other regularly. They learn to communicate. The aim of therapy is to become whole while being with someone in a harmonious relation.