Worried about ruining a current relationship because you no longer want to hide an emerging sexual orientation? Or maybe you are conflicted—that is, your partner may already know about your sexual orientation but you still feel that you might want to explore it without them?
Do you fantasize about kink, sex play, or BD/SM but are not sure how to explore this without confronting your partner with your desires? Or maybe have some extreme kink that you are worried about—“What does this mean about me? Is this a problem?”
Worried that you can’t be a good parent if you are of a certain sexual orientation? Worried what society or your parents would think of you if you came clean about your orientation or sexual practices with them?
Are you not being true to yourself with your friends and work colleagues when it comes to your sexuality, and anxious that you may be “found out” or have to disclose it at some point? Feeling negative about yourself because you feel guilty for hiding your true orientation from everyone around you?
Are you simply ashamed about your sexual orientation or sexual practices? Do you feel so ashamed you have become depressed and anxious?
Even if no apparent sexual issues are present, sexuality plays an important role in our lives, our relationships, and, sometimes, in our conversations with a therapist. Sexual energy is very powerful and can profoundly affect our mood, our thoughts, and our state of being. Sexual fantasies and behaviours are not always deemed socially appropriate, and we may not feel comfortable talking about our deepest thoughts and feelings with friends or family. This can lead to anxiety, frustration, and even depression. This is when seeing a therapist becomes important: therapy is a safe place to talk about any difficulties, fantasies, fears, memories, or desires, sexual or otherwise.
As a therapist, I am comfortable, experienced, and trained to discuss a wide range of sexuality-related concerns ranging from exploring one’s sexual orientation (straight, bisexuality, asexuality, and any variations in between), BD/SM, kink, role play, sexual play, psychosexual desire and sexual symbolism.
A good first step is to make sure that your counsellor is licensed to practice therapy and holds a professional, university degree in professional therapy and counselling. Secondly, you want to ensure that the therapist you choose is also specialized in sexuality as one of their core competencies.
Not only do I specialize in sexuality therapy with considerable experience in the field, I also have a Masters-degree in Counselling from the University of British Columbia with an Honors designation.
That’s true; however, a book cannot sit patiently with you and listen, reflect back key pieces of what you are saying, and help you formulate and notice new things about yourself you may never have considered before. Although books have a lot of information, therapy contains a critical interaction: that is, it is in the relationship with a therapist that clients grow—not just in the knowledge that a therapist might have about a particular topic or concern.
Maybe. However, not all of my clients who come in questioning their sexuality turn out to have a homosexual orientation or land up being branded a “freak” (unless they want to!) in the end. In fact, many clients are still curious about both sides of the fence when it comes to orientation and many clients, once they see the range of possibilities with the sexual world, realize they are not as kinky as they once believed. One step of my process is to start allowing the anxieties and excitements posed by these words to come to surface, so that we can examine your anxiety around them and allow your growth to start.
That’s always a question that clients have when they come to me for sexuality therapy. They imagine that their partner is going to leave them or become very angry and judgmental with them. In my experience, very few partners have ever done this. What does happen, though, is that your relationship with your partner will invariably change: and this is important, because that is essentially why you are coming to me in the first place.
Unlike other sexuality therapists, I go deeper into the psychological and spiritual issues at play within your personal sexual dynamic. Instead of presenting sex as mechanical and methodic (as though there is some behavioral modification or procedure that needs to occur to make everything better), I open up the discussion with you and facilitate your exploration into this enormous world that contains your symbols, desires and passions. The deeper we go, the better for you and the more intense your growth every session.
Get in touch. If you have concerns and questions related to your sexuality, and would like to arrange an initial appointment with me, click on the buttons below and schedule your first appointment. I always welcome new clients and look forward to meeting and helping you.