The most common version: you want it differently
Mismatched desire is the single most common sexual issue in long relationships. One partner wants more, the other wants less, or wants it differently, and the gap slowly fills with hurt, pressure, and avoidance. This is normal, it is not anyone's fault, and it is workable once you can actually talk about it.
What I work with
- Desire discrepancy: different levels, different timing, different needs
- Sexual avoidance and long dry spells, and the resentment that grows in them
- Rebuilding intimacy after infidelity
- Reconnecting after children, illness, or years of just getting by
- Exploring kink, opening a relationship, or non-monogamy, without judgement
- Learning to talk about sex with a partner without it turning into a fight
This is not couples therapy about whether to stay
If the real question is whether to repair or separate, that is different work: see Relationship Clarity. This page is for couples and individuals who are staying, and who want the sexual side of the relationship to stop being a wound. The two can overlap, and we will be honest about which one you actually need.
Judgement-free on structure
Kink and consensual non-monogamy are not problems to be fixed. If you are navigating them, you will not have to explain or defend the basics. We start from where you are.
How the work goes
Audio-only sessions, individually or as a couple, weekly or every other week. No camera. We slow the conversation down enough that both people can say the true thing, and we work in a clear framework rather than re-running the same argument.
See also the individual pages on men's and women's sexual health, and the main sex therapy page.
Common Questions
We want sex differently. Can that be fixed?+
Desire discrepancy is the most common issue I see, and it is very workable. The aim is not to make you identical, but to close the distance and take the pressure and resentment out of it.
Do we come together or can I come alone?+
Either. Some people start individually and bring their partner in later; some come as a couple from the start.
Do you judge non-monogamy or kink?+
No. If you are navigating consensual non-monogamy or kink, you will not have to justify the basics. We start from where you are.
How is this different from couples therapy?+
Relationship Clarity is for deciding whether to repair or separate. This is for couples who are staying and want to heal the sexual side. If you are not sure which you need, we will work that out early.
Start Your Therapy Journey“After my divorce, I could not imagine letting anyone near me again.
— “S.,” 44, Germany
Tidal did not push me into some glossy little healing story. He helped me understand why part of me had gone offline, and why it made sense at the time. I stopped feeling quite so defective.”
Audio-only. Confidential. BDP-accredited, with two decades of clinical practice.
